From The Onion

From: Irish-Americans Gear Up For 'The Reinforcin' O' The Stereotypes'

Nothing big today except for the expectations set by my forefathers that today I will drink an excessive amount of Guinness. Unfortunately to bystanders this is one (another) of those expectations that I never fulfill. Part of the enigma of being Tim McGuinness.

Maybe it’s the phoniness of the season. Yesterday I received an email promo from a big website addressed to “Timothy O’McGuinness”. Seriously, if you Google “Tim+Mc+Guinness,” the top result is a bar fight. Do we really have to add the “O’whatever” to Irish-up my name?

none